The news was telegraphed so well in advance that all the alerts and bulletins on my phone were expected.

U.S., Britain and France Strike Syria Over Suspected Chemical Weapons Attack

Strange for a military air strike forecast to be more accurate than the Weather Channel.

The words Trump read from a TelePrompTer last night were strangely comforting. Just hearing him say “My Fellow Americans” felt like a reprieve from Twitter. Did you also feel a sense of relief that the targeted bombing was a joint effort with France and the UK? As he spoke of God and being judged by the company you keep, and holding Russia accountable, I sort of wondered if I was in an alternate universe. I swear the speechwriter could not write that without thinking of the three P’s. Prostitutes, Porn Stars, and the Playboy Bunny.

He also got through the whole thing without mentioning Hillary’s emails. Or his landslide victory and record crowds at the inauguration.

But you can’t help wonder what leverage Putin has? If those videos don’t come out now you have to admit they probably don’t exist. Fake news. Mostly cloudy with a slim chance of Golden Showers.

And you know the Stormy Daniels PR team is scrambling to get back on the radar. I’m sure they’ll be back in the 3-5 day forecast.

I know half my friends are crazed that Trump’s lasted this long, the other half feel that he’s a cad, but better than a Democrat. They totally buy that Trumps being victimized by a relentless witch hunt. After all, the economy is humming along. Nothing’s been proven. So let’s hurry up and stop investigating.

I know I know. Whatever side you are on you think the other side is nuts.

But just for tonight let’s imagine that we all stand for something together. That there are certain atrocities that no one will tolerate in a civilized world. And we are taking a risk. But maybe it’s worth it.

And then I read the headline again.

U.S., Britain and France Strike Syria Over Suspected Chemical Weapons Attack

The word “suspected” bothers me a little. It’s not the same as proven and documented.

If this were just a show I’d say it’s building to a climax.

Title credit: Props to Bill Maher