We live in Vermont, where Lisa and I met before my radio career took off. It’s quiet. No traffic. We garden, make maple syrup, and fly to LA as often as we can to enjoy our grandchildren.

Only not now. I saw an article the other day that said the Georgia Satellites song “Keep Your Hands To Yourself” is the theme of the Coronavirus Pandemic. I love that song. Started lazily thinking of parody lyrics. Too obvious, I thought. Nothing clever about it. I’m sitting in the Sugar Shack, boiling all alone, late at night.

Then it hit me like a bolt of lightning.

A Twisted Tune: You Gotta Wash Your Hands! ( bobrivers.com/you-gotta-wash-your-hands )…

You Gotta Wash Your Hands

 

I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND is the perfect song. It’s got urgency and passion, and like many Beatles songs, the driving force is love.

And if there’s one non political, optimistic thing we can all do to help, it’s this.

I had to figure out how I could get this made. I knew the perfect musicians, but they were scattered across the Pacific Northwest. It would be sacrilege to make a song telling people to be careful, by having a studio session with a group of musicians. Damn.

The way we did it was remotely… everyone in isolation. I wrote it with the help of radio friends and family, and the track was done with authentic Beatles instruments, Abbey Rd drum samples, with me sitting in Vermont, recording with Rick Lovrovich in Seattle.

Rick is humble, but he has every guitar, knows every part, and did all of the singing. This couldn’t have happened otherwise.

I had called my son Keith, partly curious to see if he even knew the song. I figured this might be one of those OK Boomer moments… but no.

He loved it!

“That’s the kind of song that your granddaughter’s can sing and dance to”. Of course, I remember. I was seven when it came out. For those that don’t know, Keith is a very accomplished video producer of films and commercials. Like everyone else, his projects are all on hold.

So we’re going to try a crowdsourced video, starting with my granddaughter Hazel’s kindergarten class on Zoom. Details below.

Of course, I worry that we could get flagged online for copyright, but I’m hoping to try and find a way to get permission. Song parodies are protected free speech on the radio, but video sync is another story, though YouTube would exist if they weren’t pirates at first.

From what I see of Paul these days, it wouldn’t surprise me if he said ok, and even shot himself singing along on his smartphone. Ringo too.

Too much to hope for? Probably.

In the meantime, You Gotta Wash Your Hands.

Please share.

Bob Rivers

 

Now.. Details from Keith about that crowdsourced video…

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Hey,

I hope you are staying safe during this time of pause, patience, reflection, and solitude.

I want your help making a cinematic viral video (pun intended).

My dad wrote and produced a parody song courtesy of Paul McCartney and the Beatles’ “I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND”.

Attached below.

My goal is to feature you and masterfully stitch together a compelling PSA music video for schools, parents, kids, and less privileged places to spread the good word about hygiene.

This song is timely because of the Coronavirus outbreak, however, there is no political, religious, or fear-inducing agenda behind my creative intentions, instead, I want to bring people together and educate them in a fun, light-hearted, entertaining way.

My focus for this story is not to capture Trump shaking hands with people, feature heroic medical professionals, or show sick COVID-19 patients around the world. It’s to see you, the one I chose to email, and your friends, in an online communal effort to get people to wash their hands. If you’re famous, I want you to use your gift to inspire others. If you’re camera shy then show me how well you can wash your hands.

Keep it simple Simon.

So…

A few tips…

Be creative with your lighting and camera angles.

Shoot EXTREMELY CLOSE UP on hands, faces, and objects.

Wide shots are generally boring.
…Not always. But mostly.

If you sing to the camera please smile. You will look 2x better. Maybe more 😛
No backlighting, silhouettes, or harsh lighting.
Don’t film at night.
Use any camera. Your iPhone is excellent.
I will be mixing in plenty of cinematic footage I’ve already captured.

Film and upload your clips here: https://drive.google.com/open?id=1y5fD7CPv7Po0t9m7XFYCOD1Pfozaoa_e
or email them to me: krfilms (at) gmail.com

MASTER SHOT LIST

1st series of shots
+ unlock your lock // touch your doorknob // opening your door
+ type on your keyboard // click play // touch your ipad
+ lick food off your fingers
+ pick up after your dog (just doo doo it)
+ play with dirt, play-doh, etc
+ shoot a basketball or any other piece of sporting equipment (whatever it is you do: boxing, yoga, biking, tennis, put on your running shoes on, tie the laces, just get creative)
+ pick up an Amazon package
+ open a fridge handle // open a drawer // open a cupboard // push a coffee button // tap your phone’s screen // tap play on this song // unpack your groceries
+ pick a wedgy (make this funny)
+ rub your eyes // put your contacts in (not after you pick your butt, please)
+ roll out the toilet paper

2nd series of shots
Show me your hands.

Do a peace sign.
Do the disco.
Do night at the Roxbury.
Do the macarena.
Do hand claps // with and without latex gloves
Do a heart shape
Do a yoga pose with your partner. (extra credit)
Do a pushup with a hand clap.
Do your best-trapped mime.
Do a snow angel.
Do a booty shake.
Do a secret handshake.
Do make it rain money.
Do spirit fingers.
Do twirl your chopsticks, num chucks, or drum sticks
Do a 2-4-6-8 who do we appreciate chant with friends (with your quarantine buddies).
Do make up your own dance!

Don’t give me the middle finger 😉

3rd series of shots
Sing to the camera!
Look directly at the lens.
Stand in the center of the frame so I can see your whole body, waist up, and/or face only! I will intercut between these three angles. Wide, Medium, Close!

Dance while holding your purrell bottle to lens.
Dance while holding your lysol wipes to lens.
Dance while holding your toilet paper roll to lens.
Smile.
Be confident.
This is your video, own it.

4th series of shots
How to wash your hands instructional.
Show your sink
Show your soap
Show your hand towel

Step 1: Wet your hands with water
Step 2. apply soap to your hands.
Step 3. rub hands palm to palm
…Interlace your fingers top and bottom, wash
…scrub your fingernails
…wash your thumbs
…clasp your fingers
…rinse with water
…dry with a towel
…turn off faucet with towel
Done!

Advanced/Extra credit section
+ Do a stop motion animation of the lyrics being written on a roll of toilet paper (mickey mouse lyric sing-along style)
+ nose-picking // wiping the lens of your camera
+ Have your kids memorize and lip-sync to the camera.
+ play your instruments (remember to keep the camera close up so I can match what you’re playing to the song)

Some of these ideas will crush, and some of them will fall flat. It doesn’t mean this will make the video, but it’s a great starting point and if you’ve got a better idea, let’s see it!

LYRICS
Oh, yeah, you might have something
I hope you’ll understand
Lets not do the dumb thing
Don’t wanna shake your hand!
Don’t wanna shake your hand!
Now go and wash those hands

Oh, please say to me
You sanitized those hands
And, please, don’t lie to me
You didn’t wash your hands!
You didn’t wash those hands!
You better wash those hands.

Cuz when I touch my face the germs get inside
Its got me sneezing up my lungs
No High Fives
No High Fives
No High Fives

Yeah, you’ll catch that something
If you don’t understand
So please do the smart thing
Now go and wash your hands
Please say you washed your hands
You gotta wash your hands
Now go and wash those hands

In 10 years, I want this video to still live on and help people.

Will you please share this shot list someone who knows someone — your network will make this video shine:

An outgoing kid
A yogi
A killer hip hop dancer
A killer guitar player
A killer VFX artist
A killer robot dancer
A scientist
Fencers
Cinematographers
Pet owners
Stop Motion experts
A cast member from Cheer
Influencers on social media (Rebecca Zamolo you would crush this)
Doctors and nurses
Stunters/Athletes who can do insane pushups or handstands or flips
Actors that have a presence, a voice, a familiar face, a way to lift people up and make them smile.
Elderly
Beatboxers
Sign Language ASL gestures
Wine drinkers (yes this is a professional profession)
Mimes
Custom designers
Cartoon sketchers/Storyboard artists
Boxers

I will pay you in purrell, toilet paper, keto soup, and credit you at the end of the video and send you a link (please specify the spelling of your name, if you want to include kids’ names, or any pets involved). I will also post a link to where it will be featured.

Thank you. Love and care to you and your families.

keith

KEITH RIVERS // cell +1 206 251 0958 // www.keithrivers.com