I Did Fentanyl Yesterday

by | Mar 30, 2018 | 0 comments

You know, the drug that took out Prince and Tom Petty.

It was routine surgery. For a Cataract. 20 minute outpatient procedure.

I was initially a little concerned when the surgeon said they wouldn’t put me under with general anesthesia. I assumed it’s to save money. Anesthesiologists ain’t cheap.

My inner voice freaked out: “Put me out! Wake me up when it’s over.”

I edited that thought outwardly to say I was “uncomfortable” having someone work operate on my eye while awake.

They weren’t budging.

Day of surgery. Arrive 7:45 at Dartmouth Hitchcock hospital.

Any doubts I had melted away when I met my nurse Bridget. A warm smile. Late 40’s. Empathetic. She referred to the outpatient surgical center as “Pleasantville.”

All the fun of Surgery without the Dying.

She was curious about me.

“You have such a wonderful voice, what do you do?”

Please be advised that I’m a sucker for anyone who pretends they are interested in me. We talked a little about Radio and Maple Syrup and I almost forgot why I was there.

That was her job. She was great at it.

But I finally got up the nerve to ask about anesthesia. Could I get some?

“Sure. There’s an anesthesiologist on staff if you want it. But you won’t need it. You’ll awake, but in a Twilight Zone.” And she said something about an amnesia effect.

They cover your face. Everything except the eye, which after all the local numbing drops I couldn’t see out of anyway.

The last thought I remember having was:

“I feel great! Go ahead and stick a knife in my eye!”

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