We interrupt this program.

In this day and age of infinite channels, of smartphone alerts, why interrupt any program? If there’s a true emergency, such as a devastating tornado headed for my town, or worse, an asteroid is about to destroy the Earth and there’s nothing I can do about it, please put it on a crawl screen so I can watch my show in peace.

Remember the nuclear missile headed for Hawaii? Wasn’t real, but even if it was- why interrupt The Bachelorette?

Tonight Lisa let out a yelp as ABC News, without warning, cut away from a stud wooing Becca Kufrin on the beach in a bikini to a cold shot of George Stephanopoulos.

Ouch.

I could be stereotyping, but I can’t imagine a significant percentage of The Bachelorette viewers obsess about who’s nominated to be the next Supreme Court Justice. For the record- I’m only watching the Bachelorette because Lisa made pasta and told me to shut up while she watches “her show.”

Sidebar. George Stephanopoulos appearance hasn’t changed since the Clinton administration. Do you think he’s had some work done? Sorry. I was watching the Bachelorette. My head was not in journalism mode.

It’s not like I don’t care. I do. But in that moment, a cut-away from a romantic make-out session to talk about the founding fathers and upholding the constitution as it is written feels a bit off.

A minute ago I was remembering kissing Lisa on the beach in slow motion and now- what happened?

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but The Bachelorette may be more uplifting and have slightly more social relevance than the tired drama of partisan confirmation hearings. Both are unscripted dramas where the participants will say whatever it takes to get picked. At least on the Bachelorette there’s a chance of a win-win. A few of those couples actually stay together.

I did my research.

The Bachelor has been airing for 21 seasons now since 2002, only three couples from the show are still together. Meanwhile, out of 12 seasons of The Bachelorette since 2003, 5 of the couples are still together.

Let me put it in baseball terms so you guys will understand. Hot looking men with square jaws and washboard abs are batting .143 when picking a mate on a TV show, the Gals are batting .417, an average that will put you in the Hall of Fame.

Sidebar. One of the contestants courting Becca reveals that he’s a virgin!
He’s Colton, an ex pro football player who is saving it- not for marriage, he says, but for the right moment with the right person. His eyes give it away, he’ll totally let her pop his Cherry. I’m sorry I know that’s not the right metaphor.

Becca gives him a rose, and says she appreciates his honesty. Lisa explains to me that means he gets to stay. We agree that she’s going to whack him next week. You could see the look of temporary pity on Becca’s face as she called him “sweet”.

Pro Football player or not- he does not get into the end zone. More like the friend zone.

At least we closed this out with a better metaphor.

Bob